Joanne's Sex Machine and Sex Toy Reviews

Where I Get To Enjoy Myself In So Many Kinky Ways

Welcome to my site, I hope that you enjoy my reviews and articles. I have a fascination with sex toys and in particular sex and fucking machines, E-stim and BDSM equipment. As you can well imagine, I have a lot of fun doing what I do and I hope it shows in my reviews and articles.

I love hearing from my readers so don't be shy, post a comment or get in touch, I'd love to hear what you think of my site and any suggestions that you may have.

Joanne xxx

Latest Articles and Reviews

Beginners Bondage Fantasy Kit Review

Tie Tease Fun With This Kit From AdultShopIt.co.uk I love a bit of kinky bedroom fun and restraints are a staple diet of the kind of fun I really enjoy. So I was delighted when AdultShopIt.co.uk sent me this Sportsheets bondage kit for free in exchange for a fair and unbiased review and this will not affect the outcome of the review in anyway. Restraints are a lot of fun, but some of them can be a pain to fit and you need other attachments in order to secure your subject but these cuffs are quick and easy as each also comes with a long webbing strap that you can tie to basically anything. Velcro straps are inherently not as strong as buckle style restraints but these fit snuggly and I've not been able to struggle out of them (not through lack of trying).Joanne So, is this a kit to recommend or is it a none starte...

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Anaconda Silicone Dildo From Mr Hankeys Toys

The Phallic Shaped Vac-u-Lock Dildo That Will Make Your Eyes Water After I had reviewed the Centaur Dildo from Mr Hankey's Toys I was pretty confident that I would enjoy this dildo and more importantly that it would fit inside my Foof. This is another huge dildo and it's actually the small, this dildo is designed for, well shall we just say the lover of all things "fulfilling". It's made in the USA by proud silicone dildo creator Mr Hankey's Toys and the Anaconda is one of many amazing examples of big dildos on his site that are well worth checking out. My eyes are constantly drawn to the CutlerX - swoon. If you crave the bigger and longer dildos then this site is definitely for you, some of the designs are fantasy ones and others are incredibly realistic, this one sits between those two genres of dildo. This is my secon...

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Sheets Of San Francisco Sybian Cover

You Can Now Really Let Yourself Go On A Sybian I have been dying to be able to review a Sheets Of San Francisco (SOSF) product ever since I bumped into their stand at the ETO show in 2016. I was blown away by the materials that they use. So you can imagine my excitement when the lovely Karen at Sybian.com got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing the new Sybian cover made in collaboration with SOSF. Not only was I going to get to enjoy a Sybian again with the help of Ian from fmachinefun.co.uk but I was finally going to get to review a SOSF product. After much grinning and clapping of hands together I sat back waiting for all of the pieces to fall into place for the review. It doesn't get better than this, you can squirt with confidence, safe in the knowledge that you aren't going to ruin your Sybian investmen...

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Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation - Comparison

Another Toy That Really Sucks - But In a Very Good Way The market place is now pretty swamped with suction based clitoral stimulators and one of the first brands to produce them is Satisfyer and I've reviewed a number of their clitoral stimulators on my site. Out of all of them I liked the cheapest one the Satisfyer 2 the most and that surprised me. My second favourite was definitely the original Satisfyer Pro 2 and whilst it out performed the cheaper one it lacked the controls that I wanted to effectively edge myself and it was a bit of a let down in that regard. Fast forward to now and Satisfyer appear to have listened to the criticism aimed and the Satisfyer Pro 2 and they have brought out an updated version - the Gen 2. I was delighted when they sent me one to review as it meant that I could do a direct comparison betwe...

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Is My Pussy, (Vulva And Vagina) Normal?

How To Tell If Your Vagina, Clitoris, And Labia Are All Healthy This ladies and gentlemen is one of the oldest of self doubt questions and it's right up there with the other classics such as "Is my dick big enough? (for the guys of course)" and "Does my bum look big in this? (for me when I buy a new dress)". The answer of course to the age old question of "Is my vagina or vulva normal?" is a resounding YES and no as well. Yep, that's a bit confusing but it won't be soon I promise. You see, there's no such thing as a "norm" for vulvas, vaginas or clits for that matter so yours can't be compared against one. You can forget what you have heard from your snarky friends, from the media or from watching porn, we are all different and every pussy looks different just as all mens genitalia looks different as well. It's a complete myth that th...

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Centaur Silicone Dildo Review From Mr Hankeys Toys

Meet Centaur, From The Man With A Horses Cock I have to admit that I am pretty chuffed with myself over this review. Not for its style or my writing ability but simply because I managed to get this behemoth inside my foof (pussy). It is huge and whilst this one is the small size it's still not for the feint hearted. It's made in the USA by proud silicone oficionado Mr Hankey's Toys and the Centaur dildo certainly has good company on his site. I can quite honestly say that all of the dildos on the site are eye wateringly desirable (well maybe with the exception of the poop dildo) especially if you like to be filled to the brim with body safe silicone in whatever hole you fancy stretching and filling. The detailing on the dildo, its head and the shaft is simply stunning with lots of gentle textures and it has a head that g...

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